Or, well, kind of a review. I sent scouts instead of going myself. Actual teenagers, to spy out the movie and report on it in a non-political, unbiased Gen Z kind of way. (Because I'm pretty cranky about movies these days, but also because I didn't want to be trapped in a theater with this thing playing and no fast-forward button to get me past the stupid parts.)
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Visual aid for the reading impaired. "It's dead, Jim." |
Their report: This is a shitty fanfic best viewed as a comedy. It has no coherent plot, the characters made the whole theater laugh in the "emotional" parts, but nobody laughed at the quippy humor. The devoted Star Wars old guys with the merch in their arms were laughing. It was so bad they weren't even offended.
Of note was one complaint that the powers of the various Jedi -vary- from scene to scene. In one scene a Jedi grabs a spaceship with the Force and "yeets it". (Teenagers. Get off my lawn.) In another scene the same Jedi is powerless to stop a fleeing spaceship.
There you go. Smarty teenagers say save your money, wait for Netflix.