Monday, May 28, 2018

Knife control! Britain is doomed.

British judge's solution to the epidemic of stabbings in his country: round off the end of every knife in the country.

A judge has proposed a nationwide programme to file down the points of kitchen knives as a solution to the country's soaring knife crime epidemic.
Last week in his valedictory address, retiring Luton Crown Court Judge Nic Madge spoke of his concern that carrying a knife had become routine in some circles and called on the Government to ban the sale of large pointed kitchen knives.
See, you thought I was kidding, didn't you? But no, some intolerable asshole really said that. You don't need a sharp knife, Mrs. English Woman. We'll just take that potential murder weapon away from you. You can hack open your turkey dinner with a nice safe rubber spatula.

Because it is so much easier to incarcerate people for political reasons when they can't fight back.

The Phantom

Update: I was reminded today of this previous missive. Chopsticks are deadly weapons too. The problem with making comments about chopsticks and pencils is that they are not jokes anymore. Now they are predictions. The only question is how long, not if, the authorities get around to banning your yellow HB with the little eraser on the end.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

"Acknowledging that any blade could cause injury, the judge pointed out “slash wounds are rarely fatal.”

This judge's brain seems to have been affected from the germs caused by his poor dental care.
I will easily slit a throat with a round tipped knife. And to fatally injure you I can as well use a fork. Might take a bit more thinking about it, but not a problem.

When will hands be hacked off as a precaution?