Monday, March 11, 2013

Archaeology discovers heart disease in ancient man.

Well, another day, another medical fad bites the dust. Yes friends, those ancient men who lived pure, wholesome lives eating pure, wholesome foods gathered in the pure, wholesome traditional way with no additives, no antibiotics in the feed, no genetic modifications and no sitting around on their asses all day... still died of heart disease. At age 43, on average.

CT scans of 137 mummies showed evidence of atherosclerosis, or hardened arteries, in one third of those examined, including those from ancient people believed to have healthy lifestyles. Atherosclerosis causes heart attacks and strokes. More than half of the mummies were from Egypt while the rest were from Peru, southwest America and the Aleutian islands in Alaska. The mummies were from about 3800 B.C. to 1900 A.D.

"Heart disease has been stalking mankind for over 4,000 years all over the globe," said Dr. Randall Thompson, a cardiologist at Saint Luke's Mid America Heart Institute in Kansas City and the paper's lead author.

The mummies with clogged arteries were older at the time of their death, around 43 versus 32 for those without the condition. In most cases, scientists couldn't say whether the heart disease killed them.

Modern food and the modern lifestyle is better for you than anything previously discovered in the entire history of the human race. The only people in our culture that die at age 43 are mentally ill drunks/drug addicts left out in the cold by Leftist public policy. Even two pack a day smokers last longer than 43. I'm already a decade older than most of these poor bastard mummies and my diet/exercise lifestyle is crap, frankly. My old man is over 85 and can still eat the top off an egg in the morning, he's never been a marathon runner that's for sure.

A good diet and reasonable exercise will make you -feel- better, absolutely. But its not going to save your life, and that bagel is not going to kill you. Oh, and the organic produce? Total waste of money. Total.

So the next time some bearded whole-food zealot gets ahold of you and starts up with the Frankenfood business, just punch them in the head. Hippie punching is never wrong.

The Phantom


Alyric said...

"Hippie punching is never wrong."

That should be the tagline of your blog.

Black Mamba said...

If only they'd had nanny Bloomberg to look after them. They'd probably still be alive.

The Phantom said...

Oh yeah, THAT guy. Just another liberal, thinks he's the only man in the world who can see what needs to be done. Problem with him is he's rich, so he can indulge himself in lots and lots of pushing other people around.

Alyric said...

C.S. Lewis said it best:

"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. It would be better to live under robber barons than under omnipotent moral busybodies. The robber baron's cruelty may sometimes sleep, his cupidity may at some point be satiated; but those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end for they do so with the approval of their own conscience."