Lies the New York Times told me.

Today in the New York Times, the Newspaper Of Record, "all the news that's fit to print" and etc, we have this big, big extravaganza on vehicle "emissions".

Reducing emissions from driving has been a big challenge, said Conor Gately, who led the project mapping CO₂ on America's roads as a postdoctoral researcher at Boston University. Emissions dipped during the recession of the late 2000s, but have been ticking back up since 2013.

National fuel economy standards put in place under the Obama administration have helped temper the rise in automotive emissions because the rules require cars and trucks to use less gasoline per mile traveled. But even as vehicles have become more efficient, Americans, buoyed by a strong economy and low gas prices, have been driving more miles and buying more S.U.V.s and pickup trucks, which have lower gas mileage. Freight trucking is also on the rise.

The Trump administration is expected to finalize a rollback of efficiency standards for passenger vehicles this month, a move that could significantly increase future emissions from America's cars and trucks.

So, Brown Man Good, Orange Man Bad, and how dare you peasants drive the kind of cars you want instead of put-putting around in tiny death-trap eco-mobiles like good little consumers ought to. Get a friggin' bicycle, prole!

Couple things that make this whole article a heinous lie.

First, and most important, this is not a map of pollution. Its a map of CARBON DIOXIDE which is not pollution, it is the stuff humans breath out. Plants -need- carbon dioxide, right? This is another global warming fairy tale filled with dire Greta Thunberg warnings about how your car is going to cause the end of the world.

Which is, I'm sorry New York Times, a lie.

Second, and this is my favorite part right here, they didn't measure a goddamn thing to make this map. Nope. This is an estimate.

To create their database, Boston University researchers used federal traffic data to calculate the number of miles travelled on local segments of each road in the United States and converted those miles to carbon dioxide emissions by estimating how much fuel is consumed by different types of vehicles using those roads.

and

An additional New York Times analysis used Boston University's on-road CO₂ data and population figures from the National Institutes of Health and the U.S. Census Bureau to derive total and per capita emissions for each metropolitan area.

This is an ESTIMATE based on a federal government ESTIMATE of traffic and an NIH ESTIMATE of population. Nobody counted the cars, nobody measured the CO2.

They made it up.

So, ladies and gentlemen rest easy in the knowledge that the New York Times is completely full of shit. To the brim. So full of shit in fact that it is unfit even to wrap fish.

The Phantom